Experience my pain

Archive for January, 2013


This day unlike any other day

So wake up at 6:45am for class and i woke up with the biggest attitude. My god i have never had one so humongous. OK i had a dream about this guy i have been in love with since the seventh grade and back then he showed little interest but not enough to spark a relationship. He knew how i felt about him he has always known. We’ve had phone convo’s about it but that’s where it ends. So i see him off and on we’re still friends but we don’t hang out unless it’s an planned event. So i had a dream i was on my way back to summer camp to work it was training week, and he calls me on the phone and tells me he’s been thinking about me and how he miss me. Now this is where it get’s out of hand the part that pisses me off. He says, “Khalia you know, you’re the one who decided to be friends, you didn’t want a relationship.” I was beyond livid the fact that he now wanted to be with me (upon his convenience might i add) went in one ear and out the other. The fact that he blames me for us not being together now that got my attention. For some reason his brother’s were there and after i hang up he calls one of them and ask about me i can hear them through the bathroom door. He tells him “she’s in a mood, slamming doors and talking to herself”. I couldn’t focus on anything else, after eight years here you come ready who said i was ready for you. I had already given up on him. I had to think about me, i had to think is this the man you want. So i decided he wasn’t boyfriend material. I couldn’t see him in my future. But that phone call through me off balance. This dream screwed my day because i didn’t know what it meant. Then i pull out my phone and see him all over my Instagram. That there put the nail in the coffin. My thinking has been corrupted by visions of him. Fudge.. The things i did today were surrounded by my thoughts of him. And its like i know its a dream but all of the pain and rejection, just came back and hit me. Its like last December all over again.




I was searching the net and i found this picture. I worked at a camp this past summer and it was the best thing i have ever done in my life. I had fun i learned it was magical. So when i saw this picture it took me back and made me feel relaxed.


So soon I will be uploading various photo’s through out the day they will of course mean different things but i feel like i created this blog because i wanted people to know me and what i like and what i aspire so i will show you.

What girls dream about…

So last night i was thinking about what i’m always thinking about my dream wedding and my dream house. I’m only 22 but i can’t wait to get married. I want a winter wedding it’s tons of snow outside. It will be at a hotel the inside will be decorated lavender and black. As we share our first dance I will be able to look out the window and see the beautiful snow. My dress will be elegant it will be white with one strap, pearl beaded lace with a pattern so beautiful but the pearls will only be around the top trim. Leaving the top half with a soft pattern. The bottom will flare out then drop so that i have a train long as day. It will also have a light purple bow in back with long tails. My shoes will be white 4in pumps crafted just for me. And as we dance to our first song (I got a crush on you by Frank Sinatra) I will feel comfortable about the choices i’ve made and safe because of the man i’m with. In high school we had an art project to draw up blueprints to a how you would want to live in one day. I still have them it the perfect house. Seven bedroom house; the family room is where our children with play and watch movies, the dining room where we will share every meal together. we will have a huge front yard and a huge back yard. We will have a white picked fence and a dog to stand behind it. My life will be everything i ever imaged it to be.


The Dreamer



Extremely hungry i’m thinking Coconut shrimp but i need a really good recipe. Anyone????

Fresh start

I made a change today. I threw out all of the things that tempt me into doing something i shouldn’t do. It made me feel so good to throw away all of those things that tempted me.

The WordPress.com Blog

Yesterday, we highlighted two themes, Ever After and Sight. Today, we continue with our responsive theme showcase with two more beautiful themes designed to make sites look their best on any screen, from a desktop computer to devices like an iPad and iPhone.



BeatRoute Magazine, an arts and entertainment monthly in Calgary, Alberta, focuses on local and independent music. From features to album and show reviews, the site is chock-full of content, which is displayed effectively using Oxygen’s Showcase Page template. Musicians and bands are featured in sticky posts on a front page slider, as well as in smaller thumbnails. (You can also display posts in a traditional blog format, too.)

You can personalize Oxygen further with a custom background, header, and menus, as well as fonts and a custom link color. Even with all of these customized features, a site using Oxygen will look…

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